On a train years ago there were 4 people in one compartment, facing each other. One of the four was a very beautiful young woman. Sitting beside her was an older woman, a little bit “over the hill.” Across from these two women sat a decorated Army officer and beside him a young Private. The officer was a bit obnoxious. One time the train went through a tunnel and it was absolutely dark in the car. Two noises were heard – a loud kiss [smooch!], and then a loud slap. When the car came out of the tunnel, there was a big red mark on the Army officer’s face. The older woman was thinking “Well it serves him right!” The younger woman was thinking “Well I wonder why he kissed her instead of me!” The Army officer was thinking “Well what do you know… the Private got the kiss and I got the slap!” And there was only one who knew the truth of the matter: The Private had kissed his own hand and slapped the officer!